Poll: Showrunner’s Assistants Relieved They Can Finally Carry Room’s Coffee Order in One Hand
Most also happy they do not need to remember multiple names.
By Bush Bill
From the bushes outside of Night+Market, I have received the results of a poll that has found that showrunner’s assistants are relieved they can carry their room’s coffee order in one hand. The poll, conducted by the Writer’s Assistant Support Hub, questioned one hundred showrunner assistants across the industry about their current satisfaction with the job. Predictably there were not many positives, but a win is a win when it comes to those pesky coffee runs.
“I mean sure, I’ll never get that promotion to writer or get my own episode of the show or get the showrunner to read my pilot, but at least I can carry his two coffees in one hand,” said an SA who wished to remain anonymous out of fear of retaliation from their boss. “Like, I am not afraid he could keep me from getting a job, he has already proven that is something of which he is capable. I am afraid of being seen as negative. I just do not want to flush ten years of assistant work down the drain.”
Other positives shared by SAs in the poll included less bad pitches, less names to remember, and a better chance of being on a first name basis with the showrunner.
“I don’t have to write all the bad pitches down now, just the ones from my boss,” said a senior SA who got their first assistant role in 1999.
“It is nice not having to remember all the showrunner’s friends' names,” said another SA.
“It’s just me and Mike in the room and he still calls me Matt,” said an SA whose name is not Matt.
I spoke with Terry Glenman at WASH about how his organization will respond to the latest results.
“We won’t,” Glenman said before barking at his assistant to go pick up his lunch. “We just wanted to make sure they were still suffering. We will do another poll next year. See you then.”
At press time numerous showrunners dangled the promise of a read to their assistants in exchange for ten years of work and loyalty.
The bush I hid in for today's story was a Wall speedwell.
