10 Things I Learned From Watching Sesame Street on Netflix
Brought to you by the dollar sign.
By Bush Bill
From the bushes outside of my own office today, I can now confirm that my editor is forcing me to make a list to help boost readership. He originally wanted me to write something about Taylor Sheridan and Yellowstone, but I refused to cover the lowest form of television (I am not an SEO slut). After a big fight, in which my editor threatened to make me watch all of Sheridan’s works, cooler heads prevailed, and we settled on a list about Sesame Street’s transition to Netflix. Here are ten things I learned from watching Sesame Street on Netflix.
10. How to Count
In one of the first episodes I watched, the number of the day was three. Almost immediately, the famed vampiric counter, The Count, started counting the years between seasons of TV. “Let’s count the years between One Piece seasons. One. Two. Three. Three years. Ah ah ah.”
9. Oscar the Grouch has Been Fired from the Show
“People don’t live in trash cans,” said Netflix CEO, Ted Sarandos during an early segment of another episode. “No one wants to watch a puppet in a trash can. Viewers want something to which they can aspire. For that reason, we have ended our business relationship with Oscar the Grouch and have brought on a new green puppet that is more relatable and one I think everyone will love. I am happy to introduce Monty the Talking Money Bag.”
8. Adam Sandler Has Joined the Cast
The Sandman is taking a break from shooting movies on vacation and is taking up residence on Sesame Street. Sandler fits in perfectly with the cast of puppets. He sings, makes funny voices, and coaches Big Bird on the court to help him land a starting gig with the New York Knicks.
7. Animators have Mere Hours to Create Animated Segments for the Show
The animated segments that appear throughout Sesame Street episodes have all but disappeared. In their place, a static image of a number accompanied by some audio. “In the interest of saving money, Netflix has me working part time on their other animated shows,” said the only Sesame Street animator Netflix kept on, who wished to remain anonymous for this interview. “I am so tired and miss my family. Please tell them I am okay and that I hope to see them in December.”
6. Ted Sarandos is Enforcing a Cookie Budget
In the same episode in which he fired Oscar, Sarandos also put his foot down with Cookie Monster. “You are eating way too many cookies on this show,” Sarandos said as he pulled a chocolate chip cookie out of Cookie Monster’s mouth and then proceeded to eat it himself. “You get one cookie a week. You need to make these things count. We are not made of money, here at Netflix.”
5. The Staff of Puppeteers has Been Cut in Half
As I continued to watch Sesame Street on its new streaming home, I realized puppets were starting to be bunched together with smaller gaps between them. Turns out, this was another decision put in place by puppet whisperer Sarandos. “Why do we need a puppeteer for each puppet,” Sarandos said in another segment as each puppet exchanged a nervous look on set.
4. Squid Games Part 3 will Feature a Surprise Cameo
Netflix will not disclose which character will be making the crossover, but they did release the above image. It is anyone’s guess at this point.
3. Knives Out 4 will Feature a Puppet Cast
It is the crossover all of your chronically online friends wanted. Coming Fall 2028. No details yet, but my money is on Big Bird dying and it being canon to the run of the show.
2. Stranger Things 5 is Out November 26
One episode started with the full-length trailer for Stranger Things 5. The episode was brought to us by the number 5, there were cute little Eggo puppets, and Netflix strutted out the cast of 20-somethings in celebration of their last time playing these young teenagers.
1. Netflix Subscription Prices are Going up Again
“Elmo have some bad news,” Elmo said in one episode, shying away from the camera. “Elmo sorry, but Mr. Ted need new boat. So, price of Netflix is going up. Elmo still loves you though.”
The bush I hid in for this list was a Blackhaw that my HOA says I cannot have because it’s not native to my neighborhood.
